I really want to see the world

This growing lust to get out of here isn't unbearable yet, but it feels like it's getting there!

Mom and I had a conversation a while back on one of those mornings where we are curled up on the couch with coffee and news playing in the background--just like old times. I told her about how I felt in the weeks leading up to graduation and how I felt after it was over, and we talked about the future and planning... it was quite nice. Before this talk, I felt chained down by the plans I made in high school: go to community college for a couple years, get GPA up, go to university, become an art therapist. That was the choice I figured I'd make and it felt like that is what I'd do for the rest of my life. It felt bleak, even though I love art and psychology and it feels like a wonderful way to mix the two. However, I also want to see the world and travel. I want to make music. There are these intense feelings buried that are starting to surface and I just want to... change my perspective.

Above all, I'm trying to find where I'm from.

My family on my dad's side is primarily German and originates near France (since we also have some French heritage mixed in there). There is also some Cheerokee blood thrown in.
On my mom's side, we come from the Huntleys in Scotland (part of Clan Gordon) as well as Irish, Italian and Yurok tribe here in the States...
Those are the main pieces to my heritage but apparently there are more bits and pieces that come from everywhere. I'll have to check with my grandparents to get the full picture.

Either way, I want to go to all those places, especially Ireland. Every time I see a photo of Ireland, I get the most intense feeling of longing and I just wish I could dive into the photo and stay there. Don't get me wrong--I love America, but something in my soul is desperately seeking to be somewhere different.

Anyway, back to the conversation with mom.

I wasn't sure how to make these traveling dreams come true and so she told me about a friend of hers that made it happen. He wanted to surf around the world so he took up jobs on ships and was able to travel that way while still getting money. He made his dreams happen just like that!

In this conversation, she also talked to me about doing whatever I love and what makes me happy. She said "Look at me, I am an assistant manager at Blockbuster but I don't mind it. I love my job, even with all the stupid people that come into the store.". That is when I realized that I really CAN try out all sorts of different things and do something else if I stop being happy with it. Nothing is really holding me back here.

She said 'You want to travel? Get a job on a cruise ship. I mean, there are lots of things you can do to make it happen."

So where am I now with all this? Inspired, for one. Secondly, I don't know where I'm going to start but I know taking up oppertunities is part of it. I'm still going ahead with my college plans but if I find that it isn't my thing, then I'll finish up the semester and just stop. I can still do things without it--it doesn't mean I'm an idiot if I don't go to college. I've finally realized that.