Oof

So dad got the proposal back from the workplace down in California and it's niiiice... they'd pay him a little more than he asked for (which is a little less than what he made at a seperate but similar company, but still good) and he'd have medical insurance 'n everything. We're all going to be discussing it more to see if this is really the right choice since this kind of thing is a long-term commitment and it'd be hard having him live all the way back in CA again without us.
Not much else to update there.

Meanwhile, I held my own against my grandpa earlier, which made me feel nice. He's not a mean guy or anything, but sometimes he just goes on and on about something and the typical reaction when he does this is just to smile and nod and let him ramble. However, he was talking to *me* so that means me not giving in so easily. We were first talking about my college plans and he reminded me for about five minutes straight to make sure my credits were transferrable when I had just gotten through saying I was going to do that, and then I told him how I already talked to some psychology advisors and one of them said that talking to me about my career choice (art therapy) would be fascinating and he'd be happy to help. Papa went on saying that I also need to look at the pay and how good it is.

Thus, I told him "Well I'm not doing this for the money Papa" and he continues on wondering about the job oppertunities available for an art therapist. I informed him that art therapists work at all sorts of places like hospitals, halfway homes, batterered womens shelters, emergency clinics, etcetc but he focused in on my mentioning of halfway houses and remarked that something like that probably wouldn't pay too well.

This conversation was going to piss me off if it continued so I told him that during my first round of 12th grade, I looked up the annual salary for art therapists but could not remember what it was (which is true, it was for my project), but at the time it didn't matter to me anyway because the standard of living changes all the time. I continued with "Now look at how the economy is in this current moment--2009, and how different the standard of living is now compared to ten years ago. By the time I get certified, which will take more than four years, the standard will be different then."

This actually got through to him and he said "That's true."

And it is.

A while back, him and grandma suggested that I become a pharmacist because it pays really well, and I forced a smile while reaching far to try to connect that career to my passions in life. My reach was pathetic. I said "Well... I guess it'd kinda be like helping people since I'd be giving them medication." and they smiled their smiles, but the idea didn't sit with me. I tried looking up pharmeceutical schools in my state and there is a class or something at University of Washington, but that university is so out of my league and I don't want to pay a rediculous amount of money for a career that I won't even be happy doing.

Yes, money is important but I am not chosing a career just because it'd be financially stable.

In fact, the whole reason I've been looking at career choices where art is part of it but not the whole thing is so that way I could have avoided conversations like the one I had with Papa earlier. Society beats the whole "starving artist" image into our head and I got so convinced of this that I decided to never have a gallery of my art or do freelance work. This might have actually derailed my motivation to continue it because I don't feel the same way that I did before.

As a kid, I had dreamed of my future job to just be "artist". I wrote in an essay that I'd make people's homes beautiful with my paintings. Now with more cynicism moving around in my brain, I've looked outside the box and part of it just doesn't feel right. I need to get back to my roots.

You don't need to be rich to be happy. I'd like to make enough money to support a house or apartment with the bills and food stuff and have enough to continue my passions in life, and that would be fine with me.

It's weird to be holding onto this dream when my family is in the middle of a financial rut. Although, money doesn't make me happy.